Supporting someone with an eating disorder—whether it’s anorexia nervosa, bulimia, or binge eating disorder—can feel overwhelming at times. But your support can make a real difference in their recovery journey. The most important thing to remember is this: you don’t have to have all the answers. You just need to show up with compassion, consistency, and care.
And while your support is powerful, it’s not a replacement for professional help. Encouraging your friend or family member to explore treatment options, such as eating disorder treatment programs, group therapy, family therapy, or working with a dietitian, can be an essential step forward. Just know—it’s okay to not have all the answers. What matters most is that they don’t feel alone.
Understanding Eating Disorders
When you’re not the one going through it, eating disorders can be hard to understand. On the outside, it might look like it’s just about food, dieting, or weight loss—but at its core, it’s much more complex. Disorders like anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorder are deeply rooted mental health conditions, often connected to low self-esteem, disordered eating, overwhelming emotions, and a desire to feel in control. For many, it’s a coping mechanism, not a lifestyle choice.
As a friend, partner, or family member, it’s natural to feel confused or even helpless at times. You may wonder why your loved one can’t “just eat” or stop certain behaviors, but recovery isn’t that simple. It requires both time and structured support. Understanding this can help shift your mindset from fixing the problem to simply being there for them. Your role isn’t to diagnose or treat—it’s to offer support, learn what they’re going through, and be a steady presence as they navigate their recovery journey.
Types of Eating Disorders
If you’re trying to support someone with an eating disorder, understanding the different types can help you make sense of what they might be facing. Eating disorders aren’t one-size-fits-all—each one involves its own set of challenges, behaviors, and risks to mental and physical health.
- Anorexia Nervosa– People with anorexia have an intense fear of gaining weight, often leading to extreme restriction of food intake, distorted body image, and unhealthy weight loss. Even when underweight, they may still see themselves as “too big.” It’s one of the most serious and potentially life-threatening eating disorders.
- Bulimia Nervosa– Bulimia involves cycles of binge eating—consuming large amounts of food in a short time—followed by purging behaviors like vomiting, excessive exercise, or using laxatives to “undo” the binge. People with bulimia often feel trapped in this exhausting pattern.
- Binge Eating Disorder– This is the most common eating disorder in the U.S. It involves frequent episodes of eating large quantities of food, often quickly and in secret, followed by intense guilt or shame. Unlike bulimia, there’s no purging, which can lead to significant weight gain and physical health concerns.
- Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorders (OSFED)– Not every eating disorder fits neatly into a category. OSFED includes serious disordered eating patterns that don’t meet all the criteria of the disorders above but still cause significant distress and impairment. It’s just as serious and deserving of professional help.
Recognizing that these are real and serious mental illnesses—not phases, not attention-seeking, not vanity—can make a big difference in how you show up for your loved one.
How Loved Ones Can Help
When someone you care about is struggling with an eating disorder, it’s natural to want to jump in and fix it—but what they often need most is support, not solutions. Your presence, patience, and understanding can go a long way. Recovery is rarely linear, and your steady encouragement might be one of the few things they can count on during tough times.
Here are a few practical ways friends and family can help:
Listen without judgment
Let them talk about their thoughts, fears, or feelings without rushing to offer advice. Sometimes, just being heard can ease their emotional burden.
Avoid commenting on appearance or food
Even well-meaning comments about weight loss, eating habits, or “healthy eating” can be triggering. Focus on how they’re feeling rather than how they look.
Be supportive during mealtimes
Mealtimes can be incredibly stressful for someone in eating disorder recovery. Your calm, non-pressuring presence can make a big difference.
Encourage professional treatment
Help them explore treatment options like outpatient therapy, group therapy, or working with a dietitian. You can even offer to help them make calls or go with them to an appointment.
Explore family therapy together
Family therapy can be a powerful tool, not just for the person in recovery, but for the entire support system. It helps improve communication, set healthy boundaries, and create a shared understanding of what healing requires.
Take care of yourself, too
Supporting someone through a mental illness can be emotionally demanding. It’s okay to set boundaries and seek support—whether through family therapy, caregiver resources, or a helpline like the National Eating Disorders Association.
You don’t need to have all the answers. What matters most is that your loved one knows they’re not alone—and that you’re in their corner, every step of the way.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone—Let Us Help Support You Both
If someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder, you don’t have to carry the weight alone. At We Conquer Together, we specialize in supporting both the individual and their friends and family through the recovery process. Sometimes, the most powerful way to offer support is by inviting trained professionals into the picture—people who can guide healing, address underlying mental health conditions, and help everyone feel less alone.
Reach out today to learn more about our residential treatment options in Orange County. Let’s work together to support your loved one’s recovery—and your well-being, too.
